This article discusses holistic estate planning as an alternative to traditional estate planning. Providing a brief background on the development of holistic estate planning, the authors explore the advantages of this alternative method of estate planning, which uses mediation techniques and family dynamics specialists to facilitate the pre-estate planning process. Through the use of two case studies, the authors demonstrate how involving the entire family in the estate planning process can facilitate the transition of assets between generations. Involving the entire family allows parents, children, and estate planning attorneys to create a better estate plan that will transfer not only family assets, but also family values and traditions.

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* Copyright 2004. David Gage, John Gromala, and Edward Kopf. All rights reserved. David Gage is a mediator, psychologist, adjunct professor in the Kogod School of Business at American University, and co-founder of BMC Associates, a multidisciplinary mediation and consulting company in Arlington, Virginia. David speaks frequently to estate-planning associations on family business succession and involving grown children in the estate-planning process. John Gromala is a mediator and the West Coast director of BMC. John is a former estate planning attorney and ACTEC member, and he has served on the executive committee of the California Bar’s Section on Estate Planning, Trust and Probate Law. He lectures in the United States and abroad on mediation. His website is mediation-adr.com. Edward Kopf is a mediator, business consultant, and co-founder of BMC, based in Chevy Chase, Maryland.BMC’s website is BMCassociates.com. The authors would like to thank Professors Ray Madoff and Ronald Chester for reading drafts of this Article and providing helpful comments and suggestions.

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1 Introduction	6 Additional Applications of Holistic Estate Planning
2 Estate Planning In the 21st Century	7 Introducing Parents To A Holistic Approach
3 The Focus For Holistic Estate Planning: Families With Adult Children	8 Mediation Techniques For Conducting Family Meetings and Retreats
4 Goals and Challenges In Holistc Planning: Moving Toward A Team Approach	9 Some Practical Considerations: Working With Families
5 Introducing Holistic Planning Into A Practice: Family Business and Real Property Cases	10 Conclusion

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1. Introduction
Historically, adult children have become actively involved in their parents’ estate plans only if the plans were contested after their parents’ deaths. This was the case because most parents did not share their plans with their grown children. By not revealing their intentions and plans, parents hoped to protect themselves from their children’s potential objections and from potential sibling conflicts over their bequests. Secrecy, however, does not protect children and can lead to estate disputes that sometimes destroy families, as well as the gifts, businesses, or properties the parents have left behind.

Until recently, the only alternative available to resolve these post-death estate battles formally was through litigation. Over the past decade, however, attorneys dealing with trust and will contests have become increasingly familiar with an alternative—the use of mediation.¹ Mediation brings all the surviving family members together to discuss their views openly, clear up misperceptions and misunderstandings, and resolve estate and trust conflicts by building consensus.

Holistic estate planning employs the same collaboration-building strategy as post-death mediations, but the holistic estate planning occurs before any conflict over the plans has arisen. In many post-death mediations, mediators discover that most causes of estate contests could have been identified prior to the parents’ deaths, but were missed during the planning process. If both heirs and testators are involved actively in planning, the potential benefits far outweigh those available in post-death dispute resolution. Parents still may alter their plans in response to what they learn if they so choose, and involving everyone diminishes the probability of adversarial proceedings that will revolve around the testators’ intent.²

While holistic estate planning ensures a smoother and more efficient transfer of tangible assets, it has another equally important role to play. Parents often want assurances that their children will feel fairly treated and will be able to work together harmoniously if the plans require cooperation (e.g., when they will co-own a family business or vacation property). Parents may also want assurances that the family will not descend in topettiness as they pass their money and possessions to the next generation and that the problems that have existed in family relationships will beresolved—or at least not exacerbated—during their final years. Although there is no quid pro quo, parents may want some assurances that their children will care for them if they become dependent or incapacitated. Finally, many parents’ fundamental concern is that their children will assume as their own the values the parents promoted for a lifetime.

Many estate planners recognize that to be effective, the financial and tax strategies they recommend must be designed in this broader context of personal and family needs. In contrast to the rich resources available fordealing with tax and trust issues, estate planners have fewer techniques readily available to them for identifying and dealing with these “soft-side” issues. Holistic estate planning provides both a valuable theoretical framework and practical methods for estate planners.

The central innovation of holistic estate planning is the full involvement of the adult beneficiaries in conversations with their parents in theearly stages of the planning process, which allows the broadest range of concerns to be addressed. The conversations, which may take place during a family retreat, enable family members to explore the personal, familial, and financial aspects of the anticipated transition. While the final legal documents will not specifically address all these goals and concerns, the process leading up to the creation of the documents results in an estate plan that is better understood by all, more likely to be perceived as fair and acceptable, and less likely to produce hard feelings or legal challenges. Holistic estate planning also helps families understand the values and legacy the parents are leaving behind.

Family meetings, the sine qua non of holistic estate planning, complement and expand upon the traditional elements of estate preparation. A holistic approach helps families explore subjective and relationship issues that sometimes go undiscussed by holding meetings with individual family members, meetings with various subsets of the entire family (e.g., parents, siblings, spouses), and meetings with the entire group. The parents’ attorney usually introduces family systems specialists with an understanding of estate-related issues into the holistic estate planning process, and the specialists typically conduct these family meetings. The parents’ attorney remains the expert on legal and financial matters and may participate in some of the meetings to explain various approaches and answer questions. The parents and their attorney complete the planning process with the benefit of the insights gained from the interviews, meetings, and participation of family systems specialists. The holistic approach allows the attorney to understand the client’s needs better and to form a stronger relationship with the client. Above all, it provides clients with an estate plan that satisfies their need to transfer both a financial and familial legacy.

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